I suddenly realized that as I rested here, I had an expression on my face which contained very little joy. I froze my face muscles and rushed to the mirror. Sure enough, I was a dreary picture indeed. My puppydog eyebrows, downturned mouth and bleak eyes stared back at me, confirming what I already knew. Old joyless habits have been allowed to return and easily croud out my inattentive intentions. Intentions without diligence can only bring heartache! But how long has this been going on?
Okay Danielle, ‘fess up. How many times in the last few weeks have you told the children to smile, with such a dismal expression on your face that you surely should have praised them for their tremendous efforts? Surely you know by now that such efforts are futile? More is caught than taught. Sigh.
So now I’m smiling. I can even laugh at myself -haha. In reality, however, it is rather difficult to stay focused on having a good and cheerful attitude at all times. And staying focused for a long enough period for me to memorize the chords can only be of God. My sinful self is certainly not capable of it. But I’ve been in a joy rut and it was glorious indeed! Surely I can return…
“… a man???s wisdom maketh his face to shine, and the boldness of his face shall be changed. ” Ecc. 8:1b
“A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” Prov. 15:13
“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.” Romans 15:13
This is so far down the page, you may never see it. However, don’t be too hard on yourself. The verse about sorrow of the heart and the broken spirit reminded me and made me realize that you don’t understand true sorrow of the heart and a true broken spirit unless you have suffered a true heart break. I don’t know if you, Danielle, can relate to what I am speaking, but I can look back on huge sorrow and suffering and praise God for beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Sometimes it is hard to be joyful for what you have because you have always had it, and it is so taken for granted. As an incredibly busy mother of four, I can also relate to the frustration that fighting and crying bring, and the constancy of being on duty 24/7. Sometimes the best way to be a helpmeet is to mother the children of your husband.
“Sometimes it is hard to be joyful for what you have because you have always had it, and it is so taken for granted.”
Exactly! And herein, I believe, lies one of our greatest challenges. That of being obedient to the Lord consistently, in regard to thankfulness. For where thankfulness is present, joy is there also. And the scripture you used above (which I cannot read, I must sing!) speaks of joy as something to be used to cover that heaviness (oil would seep in also, wouldn’t it?). Certainly sorrow is appropriate at times, but my question is, why are we sorrowful? If it is because of a death, or because of some serious issue that needs to be resolved with God, grieve away. But if we are sorrowing or angry for no apparent reason, or because we have an uncaring husband or our computer just broke down or because our kids are on acting up, that is just a pity party, or unforgiveness (another issue). I feel that raising children is attitude boot camp, for me and the kids!
I Havent many fancy words for you dear heart..But this comes from my heart…Happiness is a choice….Just think if we didnt know the Lord as our Savior how bleek life would be???Everyone goes through ups and downs I will call them…Even Jesus ..God created our feelings and emotions for a reason…Dont be too hard on yourself…God knows how you are feeling and what the outcome to your specific situation is before you do..Remember he is navigating the boat…so we can sit back and let go..isnt that wonderful.?..I do not know your specifics..but I think you are a GReat MOm,Wife and Friend…and are looked up to by many…Just remember feelings are JUST feelings and there are always going to be brighter days ahead..As my sister Patty always says..”it wont always be that way”"…and she is right!!! Just a thought..sometimes those angry thoughts or attitudes are masking something deeper..Ask the Lord to reveal it to you ..be ready to accept it and bring it into the light…He wants you to be a joyous child and is ready to help you do just that…Love to you!!